From Botched Peafowl, 10 Months ago, written in Plain Text.
  1. Good evening,
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  5. I need your help/assistance please.
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  9. Someone purchased four fibre optic cables on our website, and it has an unknown email address: <redacted> - and an unusual and unknown phone number.
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  13. How do you reply to an email and you don’t know whether they’re male for female.
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  17. You’ll have to excuse me because I wasn’t sure if you were male or female, and I have the answer to that very great question!
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  21. Years ago, it was customary to say “To whom it may concern.” But the problem is it sounds like a message to anybody. It's like dragging a hook in the water hoping a fish will jump on.
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  25. I was going to greet whoever it is with a hearty “Hello” or “Good morning”. The key is l wanted to make it personal without being too familiar. And make it interesting rather than boring.
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  29. Here's something even more important. If I wanted you to read past “Hello,” and make the message all about him or her. Ask yourself, “If I got this email, why should I read it?”
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  33. People’s inboxes are crammed with a million messages. Just a word of advice, it doesn’t matter who you think you are, so please make your message about what he or she wants and you'll stand out in a sea of selfish messages.
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  37. Kind regards,
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